08/05/2005: "Mulholland Drive, Epilogue"music: Peter Gunn
I walked the streets of Saint Paul alone, unsure of where to go next. The redhead had thrown me out
again, and I didn't have a cent, so I wandered through downtown. Walking past an alley, I saw mist that seemed to come from nowhere. My instinct said to avoid it, yet I was drawn to this unnatural fog. I walked into the mist and blinked; suddenly I noticed the buildings were gone, and I was in a room. It was red throughout, except for a mermaid shaped lamp and a black satchel on a desk.
"I've seen that somewhere," I said to myself, barely audible.
"Of course you have," a thicly accented voice responded.
I turned around and saw the Frenchman. He was carrying David Lynch's head in his hand, which he set down on the desk next to the satchel.
"You are wondering why I sent for you, no?" he asked.
"I thought you had died," I said.
"Death is only a phase," he answered. "It is not enough to stop my next production."
"Nor mine," said David Lynch's disembodied head. "The Frenchman will see to it that we use lots of film,
most of which will never be seen by human eyes."
I touched the satchel. "So what does that have to do with me?"
"I loved your screenplay," the Frenchman said. "The way it had a beginning, a middle and an end...how
clever, how refreshing. Yet no car crashes or troglodyte action hero...how exceptional. All it needs..."
"Women kissing, women kissing," the head interrupted.
"Oui, the gratuitous lesbianism is most important to the refined sensibilities of the French mind."
"I'm not changing a thing," I insisted. Suddenly, everything got hazy, and steam came from every pore
and crevice in the room.
"Fool," the Frenchman said. "You will rue this day." He threw the head at me; I raised my hands to catch it. Mist filled the room before it reached me, and when it was clear again, I was back in the alley,
the head of a troll doll in my hands.
"Weird," I said to myself, then I got back on the street and went to the bus stop. Next time, I'll make sure I grab the satchel.